This post may reference lady parts and doctors and all that jazz. Just a little warning now. Are you eating? Are you squeamish? Are you a dude? Might wanna skip this one. Just sayin….
And because I hate posts without pictures (don’t they seem lonely?) Here’s a couple random ones, even though they have NOTHING to do with the following content.
a. a cute little note that Alex left for me at the gym this morning b. how most of our Friday and Saturday nights end c. Hunter being adorable in the morning d. Alex’s interpretation of “hey baby, can you fill us up a little water?”
So, let’s get to it — shall we??
If you haven’t noticed already, I’m that person. You know… that one friend that has the weirdest crap happen to them – yeah, that’s me. I shake my head at my own life a dozen times a day and have started to feel comfort in the thought, “yeah… this would happen to me – of course, it would.” I talked about this here before too.
Here’s a review though:
A few years ago I came down with Scarlet Fever. Yep, because you know, it’s still 1874. I didn’t know this until just looking it up, but apparently it’s also most common in 4-8 year olds and by the time you’re 10, you have built up enough antibodies to make catching it after that point basically non-existent (source, thanks Wikipedia). Guess how old I was went I got it? TWENTY. Boom. I win.
I also had that allergic reaction to Neosporin ON MY LIPS last year and walked around for months looking like I stuck my lips inside a red Gatorade bottle. Who is allergic to Neosporin? Answer: Anyone who is also allergic to penicillin. You would think that gold-mine of information would be a little more well-known, right? Spread the word, people.
My lock got stuck on my locker a couple months ago AT WORK and I had to trek through my office building in my sweaty gym clothes looking for a maintenance man to use the bolt cutters to get my work clothes back out. Did I mention that this was on my lunch hour? And did I further mention that the guy that had the bolt cutters was out sick that day? No? Well, a hammer was used to bang the thing off and an hour later I was happily back at my desk.
Shall I continue? When I was two I stuck a lego in my ear, followed by a pencil and punctured my ear drum. Two surgeries and six years later, I was finally able to take a bath/go swimming without having wax in my ear. Up until recently, I got sick on every single vacation I’d ever been on. My hands and feet shed their skin like a snake once a year. WAY before (we’re talking elementary and middle school ages) I was active in the bedroom (I dunno how else to pleasantly write that), I got UTI after UTI after UTI for over a year. Finally, they realized that I just had a large bladder (sorry TMI) and wasn’t going to the bathroom enough. After that gem of info was shared, I never had another one. There’s also a really good story of a bathroom emergency experience and a barn. It’s a good one. After a drink or two, I’ll even demonstrate the whole thing.
Nothing life threatening, just weird stuff that doesn’t happened to ordinary people.
So, I shouldn’t have been surprised this morning when another odd encounter happened. See, I mentioned on Friday that Alex and I wanted to make some changes that would make a bigger impact on our health. After much deliberation, we decided to start taking the morning classes at our gym rather than the night ones. This will give us more time in the evening to get the dogs out on a long walk (more exercise for us too!), as well as, more time to prep and eat healthy meals. With evening classes by the time we get home, we’re STARVING and just whip something up that’s relatively quick and probably not the most healthy(of course while we’re snacking the entire time).
So anyway, as we fumbled around getting our equipment ready for our 5:30 AM Body Pump class, I noticed that a woman two people down from me looked familiar. It took me a couple minutes (probably just to wipe the sleep from my eyes) before it dawned on me.
SHE’S MY OB/GYN.
Gosh, the person that examines your lady parts (especially when you have a significant emotional trauma linked like I do) is definitely not the person that you neither expect nor want to see as you’re gettin’ your sweat on in the 5 o’clock hour. I immediately shot Alex the “OMG, OMG I’m going to die” face (because I’m not dramatic at all) and blurted out who she was (very discreetly, subtly, and calmly, might I add –HA).
I didn’t say anything to her. Because I’m a chicken. And because I’m that person that tries to look away and act like I didn’t see that person that I hated in high school or kind of remember, but can’t place their face. My mom would be ashamed. She always goes up to anyone and plays the six-degrees of separation and finds a way that she knows them EVERY WHERE she goes. Obviously I missed that branch as I fell off the tree.
And you know what, this isn’t the first time that I’ve had an awkward encounter with one of my OB/GYNs. Back in college, I was home for summer break and needed to you know, have my yearly feminine checkup. I was sporting a new Florida State t-shirt and AS SHE’S EXAMING ME, let’s me know that she went to Florida State too! (Remember, I live in Maryland so running into another Seminole is slightly odd) We talked about where we had lived on campus and what activities we were involved in. Let me be clear here, WHILE SHE WAS CHECKING ME OUT, it was discovered that not only did we go to the same school but we were in the SAME SORORITY. #pleasestoppapsmearingnow. Once I got back to school, sure enough I pulled her up on the composite (that’s what those pictures were called, right?) and there she was! #sistersforlife #didyoucatchmysarcasm?
So, back to today. Apparently, I’m going to be seeing more of her as she seems to be a 5:30 AM Pump regular. We’re talking about changing-into-scrubs-down-in-the-locker-room regular. I feel like I have to say something though. It would be even MORE weird if I see her three times a week (not say anything) and when I went in for another post-op follow-up in a few weeks, to say, “hey, girl! Lookin’ good at pump!” Okay, let’s be honest – I would never in a million years say that, but you get my point.
What do you think? Should I casually say, “oh hey, Dr. so-and-so. Remember me? Remember when you told me the some of the worst news of my life? Thanks for that… No really, thanks for saving my life though.” Ahh… that seems too forced! I need to slowly work up to that – not give it away right up front. Haha, I make myself laugh. Any advice?
Have you ever had an awkward encounter with someone who knows way too much about you? Are you a chicken like me and avoid looking at people that may recognize you? Or are you a “I’m gonna take this by the horns” kinda gal(or guy!) like my mom? I applaud you, oh fearless ones.